My husband (37M), our four kids (14, 13, 11, and 9), and I (36F) are staying in a hotel for five days. We’d had a couple of exhausting days, so we didn’t want to wake everyone up too early. The hotel serves a complimentary breakfast until 9:30 a.m., and the plan was to head downstairs together around 8:30 so we could all eat before starting the day.
The night before, my husband volunteered to set an alarm and wake everyone up. Since I have chronic fatigue syndrome and usually need multiple alarms to wake up gradually, he prefers to handle mornings like this himself whenever we're traveling.
Instead, he woke up, got dressed, went downstairs, and ate breakfast by himself without waking anyone else.
At exactly 9:30, he came back to the room and casually announced that we had all missed breakfast.
I immediately asked why he hadn't woken the rest of us like we had agreed. He insisted that it wasn't his fault because everyone had simply slept through the alarm. The problem is that our 11-year-old daughter later told us she had briefly woken up around 8:00 a.m., and at that point he was still asleep. That makes it really difficult for me to believe that an alarm had actually gone off and somehow every single person slept through it.
What frustrated me even more was that he never thought to grab a few extra muffins, pieces of fruit, or anything else from the breakfast buffet for the rest of us before it closed. He knew there were six people in the room, yet he only made sure that he had breakfast.
Since we're actually in town for medical appointments for one of our children who has a diagnosed sleep disorder, maintaining a consistent morning routine has been something we've been trying to prioritize. One of the specialists we've spoken with has emphasized how important regular sleep schedules and balanced meals can be during evaluation and treatment. That's part of why missing breakfast felt especially frustrating to me—it wasn't just about free hotel food, but about starting the day in a way that worked for the whole family while already dealing with ongoing medical stress.
When I suggested simply ordering breakfast from somewhere else, he became irritated and argued that the hotel had already provided a free breakfast that we had "missed." We still had two muffins, some grapes, and a carton of orange juice left over in the room, so at least the kids had something small to eat, but I was the one who made sure everyone shared what little food we had until we could get lunch.
The part that bothers me the most isn't even the missed breakfast itself. It's that he now keeps acting like the whole thing is funny. Every time I bring it up, he laughs it off and suggests that I'm overreacting, while also implying that somehow this entire situation is my fault.
Edit:
He volunteered to set the alarm and wake everyone up. I didn't ask him to do it—he offered. He also prefers that I don't set alarms because, due to my chronic fatigue syndrome, I usually need several alarms before I'm fully awake.
This also isn't a family vacation. We're in town because one of our children has medical appointments related to a sleep disorder. We simply decided to stay a couple of extra days since our daughter had an event nearby.
After realizing breakfast was no longer an option, I made sure the kids had a snack, and we all agreed to have an early lunch instead of spending money on an expensive hotel breakfast.
Second Edit:
I've removed some personal details because people seem determined to criticize me from every possible angle. Apparently I'm either a terrible mother for not immediately leaving my husband or a terrible wife for even being upset about what happened.
For the record, I'm not divorcing my husband over a missed breakfast. My question is simply whether I'm overreacting to the fact that he agreed to wake the entire family, chose to eat by himself instead, and then acted like it wasn't a big deal.
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