Me (18) and my girlfriend (19) live in a two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartment. We've been living here for about eight months now. We both have stable full-time jobs, split responsibilities fairly, and have managed to build a comfortable life together despite our age. The reason we moved out so young was because my girlfriend grew up in a very crowded household where she constantly felt unwanted. She spent years babysitting younger kids, looking after the family dogs, cleaning the entire house, and helping everyone else, yet she was still made to feel like she didn't belong. I worked as hard as I could to get us our own place so she could finally have a home where she felt appreciated and safe.




Since moving in together, we've never had any major disagreements about money. I cover all of the housing expenses, including rent, water, electricity, and gas. She pays for the internet, our phone bills, and most of the groceries. Whatever money she has left is hers to save or spend however she wants. We've always worked as a team, and honestly, living together has been amazing.

That changed recently.

My girlfriend has a large family with several siblings and cousins, and unfortunately, many of them have no interest in becoming independent. A few of them live in the basement of her older sister's house without jobs, diplomas, GEDs, or any real plans for the future. They spend most of their time sleeping, playing VR games, and eating food that was bought for their sister's children.

The two people this situation revolves around are her brothers, who are 22 and 25 years old.

Recently, both of them were kicked out of their sister's house and are now asking if they can stay with us "for just one week" while they supposedly get back on their feet.

The problem is that I honestly don't believe that's what will happen. From everything I've seen over the years, one week will quickly turn into several weeks, then months, and before we know it they'll effectively be living here permanently without contributing anything financially or helping around the apartment.


I even spoke with a friend whose family went through something similar, and they strongly suggested that I look into our state's tenant laws before agreeing to let anyone move in—even temporarily. They explained that in some places, once someone has lived in a residence for a certain period or receives mail there, removing them may require a formal eviction process through the courts rather than simply asking them to leave. I haven't met with an attorney, but after reading about similar situations, it made me realize that allowing someone to stay "just for a week" could become far more complicated than either of us expects if they later refuse to leave.

My girlfriend has an incredibly difficult time saying no to people. She hates disappointing anyone and feels guilty whenever she thinks she's letting family members down. Because of that, we've started arguing about whether we should let them stay.

My position is pretty straightforward.

I don't want them moving into our apartment.

I genuinely believe they'll overstay their welcome, eat our groceries, contribute nothing toward bills or household responsibilities, and spend their days doing exactly what they've been doing for years. I'm also worried that if they refuse to leave later, the situation could become extremely stressful or even confrontational, especially if I end up being the one expected to force them out.



My girlfriend sees it differently.

She believes that despite their lack of motivation, they're still her family and deserve help during a difficult time. She also explained that her 22-year-old brother has autism and learning disabilities, and that many of his struggles aren't entirely his fault. She honestly believes they'll stay for only a week, look for jobs, and eventually become independent.

I want to support my girlfriend, but I also feel like we're risking the peaceful home we've worked so hard to build together.

So... what do I do?