My husband has two sons from his previous marriage, ages 12 and 14.

They are genuinely good kids, but they're also teenage boys. They can be loud, messy, argumentative, and listening isn't always their strongest skill at this stage of life.

I don't have any biological children of my own.

I met the boys about four years ago when my husband and I started dating, and we've all lived together for roughly two and a half years.

Last summer we moved about 60 miles away from our previous home.

The move happened because the boys' biological mother remarried someone who lived in another part of the state. Rather than making the children deal with long commutes between households, we agreed to relocate.

My husband still makes the long drive to work each day, while I now work from home full-time.

We share 50/50 custody of the boys.

During the school year, we never have them on Monday or Tuesday nights.

My husband enjoys playing in low-stakes poker games at a local bar on those evenings. Because the drive back home afterward is so long, he usually stays overnight with friends who still live near our old town.

It's never been my favorite arrangement, but I've always tried to support his hobbies because I know he didn't have much personal freedom during his first marriage.

The issue came up when our summer custody schedule changed.

Instead of the normal school-week arrangement, we switch to alternating full weeks with the boys.

During a recent conversation, my husband casually mentioned that he still planned to attend poker every Tuesday night during the weeks we have the kids and intended to stay overnight with his friends afterward.

That completely caught me off guard.

Our understanding had always been that if the boys were staying with us, he would also be home.

When I reminded him of that, he said he didn't think missing one night each week was a big deal and expected me to manage everything myself.

The problem is that I'm genuinely uncomfortable being the only adult in the house with them.

They argue often, sometimes their disagreements become physical, and I don't feel it's appropriate for me, as a stepparent, to discipline them the same way their parents would.

If they quietly spent the evening reading books, I probably wouldn't feel this way.

Instead, there's always a chance that an argument turns into wrestling or someone starts throwing punches, and I don't feel comfortable being solely responsible for handling those situations.

On top of that, I'm already the default parent for many daily responsibilities.

I handle the laundry, school pickups, scheduling appointments, preparing meals, and I'm usually the primary caregiver during school breaks because I work from home.

I've explained all of this to my husband several times, so none of these concerns are new to him.

Beyond my own discomfort, I also worry about the example this sets for the boys.

This isn't a work trip or an unavoidable commitment.

From their perspective, it could easily seem like their dad is choosing a weekly poker game over spending time with them during the limited weeks they're together.

To me, parenting means planning your personal life around your responsibilities to your children whenever possible.

My husband already has more flexibility than many parents because we share custody equally, and I've happily supported his hobby during the weeks we don't have the boys.

I simply don't think it's unreasonable to expect him to be home during the weeks that he does.

So...

AITA for asking my husband to stay home with his children instead of spending every Tuesday night away playing poker?

Successful co-parenting and blended families often depend on clear communication, shared parenting responsibilities, healthy boundaries, and consistent involvement from both adults. Balancing family commitments, work schedules, and personal hobbies can be challenging, but maintaining stability and quality time with children is often an important part of building strong family relationships.