I had two experiences today that left me feeling hurt... but also strangely victorious.
A little background first.
I gave birth to two big babies—my first in 2018 at just under 8 pounds, and my second in 2020 at almost 9 pounds.
Between pregnancy, COVID, raising my oldest child (who was adopted), and fostering another child for a while, losing the extra weight and getting rid of the lingering "mom pouch" has been a real struggle.
Over the past few months, though, I've been working really hard.
I'm finally starting to notice that many of my clothes fit loosely.
To celebrate my progress, I decided to treat myself to some new clothes that actually fit.
Before going shopping, I had actually spoken with my doctor during a routine checkup about how frustrated I was with my body after having children. They reminded me that pregnancy can permanently change abdominal muscles, posture, and body composition, and that recovering physically often takes much longer than people expect—especially after multiple pregnancies, stress, and years of caring for young children. They encouraged me to focus on becoming healthier rather than chasing a specific number on the scale. That conversation helped me appreciate how far I'd already come instead of constantly comparing myself to who I was before becoming a mom.
Story #1
While browsing in one store, I overheard a man say,
"Man, why do people even look at skimpy clothes when they clearly don't have the body for it?"
I casually glanced over.
He was staring directly at me.
I was the only other person shopping in that section besides who I assumed was his wife.
Now, I'm not trying to body shame anyone...
But this man had absolutely no business criticizing someone else's appearance.
His stomach was hanging several inches over his waistband.
I smiled politely and replied,
"I gave birth to two big babies. What's your stomach's excuse?"
His wife immediately burst into laughter.
He turned bright red.
Story #2
Later, I was in another store trying on dresses.
The fitting rooms only had small mirrors, but there was a much larger mirror with better lighting outside.
I stepped out to get a better look.
A woman walked up to me with the biggest smile and said,
"Oh my goodness, congratulations on the baby!"
That one definitely hurt.
One of my biggest insecurities is that I still look somewhat pregnant years after giving birth.
Instead of getting upset, I simply smiled and replied,
"Thank you! She was born in 2020."
The woman's expression changed instantly.
She realized what she'd just said.
She apologized awkwardly and quickly walked away.
Moral of the Story
You never know what another person's body has been through.
Maybe they've been pregnant.
Maybe they're recovering from surgery.
Maybe they're dealing with a medical condition, medication side effects, or genetics.
Maybe they're already working incredibly hard to become healthier.
The truth is, our bodies often tell stories that strangers know absolutely nothing about.
Comments about someone else's appearance are almost never as helpful as people think they are.
Sometimes...
The kindest thing you can do is simply keep those thoughts to yourself.
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