My (I guess ex now?) girlfriend sent me this text before changing her number. For some backstory, we had been on the phone from late that night until around 11:00 a.m. on Christmas morning. Around 12:30 p.m., I was sitting down to Christmas lunch with my family. My last two text messages never went through because I'm assuming she changed her number within those few minutes. This isn't the first time either—she has changed her number three times since we've been together. I also noticed I had been blocked on every social media platform, although today I can see her profiles again.
For some additional context, we've been dating for a little over a year. I started noticing a pattern where she does this around major holidays. During Thanksgiving, for example, she blocked me shortly after I told her I was having dinner with my family. There have been several other situations like this, but I always tried to brush them off because she would say it was just how she reacted. We're only two years apart in age—I'm 25 and she's 23. Overall, we never had issues with cheating or trust, although she often talked about how badly one of her exes treated her and how those experiences still affected her.
Last week, I went to a Christmas party hosted by one of my childhood friends. She became upset, blocked me again, and then eventually unblocked me. She told me she doesn't want her partner to "be outside" and that I should "stay home" like a good boy. We're currently in a long-distance relationship since I met her while I was finishing graduate school. I explained that her expectations felt controlling to me, but she insisted I simply didn't understand what she meant and claimed that "other girls understand."
Last week I also told her that I hate when she blocks me and that if she was going to do it again, she should just leave me blocked permanently because it was beginning to affect my mental health. The constant cycle of being blocked, ignored, and then suddenly welcomed back has left me feeling anxious and emotionally exhausted. A close friend recently suggested that I speak with a licensed therapist because I've started questioning whether this behavior is emotionally manipulative or if I'm genuinely overreacting. It's even begun affecting my sleep, my ability to focus at work, and my overall emotional well-being. I never thought I'd consider professional counseling because of a relationship, but lately I've realized how much this situation has been impacting me.
I honestly don't know where I went wrong in this conversation. I wasn't ignoring her—I was simply spending Christmas lunch with my family after we'd already talked on the phone for hours earlier that day. She has a habit of ruining special occasions or trying to make me feel guilty whenever I spend time with family or friends instead of being available to her every minute.
Now we haven't spoken since she changed her number, and I genuinely don't know what to think anymore. Part of me feels relieved because this cycle has been emotionally draining, but another part of me is confused about why she keeps doing this.
So... AIO?
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