I've been with my partner for two years.
Very early in our relationship, she told me she was allergic to strawberries.
That immediately changed a lot for me.
Strawberries are my favorite fruit. They're one of the few foods I genuinely enjoy, and when my anxiety gets bad, they're one of the only things I can reliably eat.
She told me her allergy was serious enough that if I ate strawberries and then kissed her, it could be dangerous.
I didn't question it.
When someone tells you they have an allergy, you believe them.
So I completely stopped eating strawberries.
Not just the fruit itself—I cut out strawberry-flavored candy, gum, desserts, drinks... basically anything strawberry-related. I didn't want to accidentally put her at risk.
I missed them, but it felt like an easy sacrifice for someone I loved.
Over the past two years, there were so many little moments where I automatically passed on strawberry desserts or drinks without even thinking. Friends would offer me something, and I'd politely decline because I genuinely believed I was protecting her. Looking back now, that's part of what hurts the most. It wasn't really about giving up a favorite food—it was about making a choice out of love because I believed there was a real medical risk involved. I even learned more about food allergies during that time because I wanted to understand how serious they can be. That's why discovering there was never an allergy at all made the situation feel so much bigger than a simple dislike of strawberries.
Recently, though, I found out something that honestly shocked me.
She isn't allergic.
Not even a little.
She simply doesn't like strawberries.
She admitted she told me she had an allergy because she didn't want me eating them before kissing her since she doesn't like the taste.
Now I'm sitting here wondering what else I should be questioning.
I know, objectively, we're talking about strawberries.
But to me, this isn't really about strawberries.
It's about trust.
For two years, I changed my habits because I believed I was protecting someone I cared about.
She knew how much I loved strawberries.
She knew I gave them up because I thought her health depended on it.
And she watched me do it without ever correcting the lie.
I honestly can't imagine asking someone to give up one of their favorite foods simply because I disliked the taste, let alone inventing a medical condition to make sure they complied.
What bothers me most is wondering whether she ever felt guilty.
Did she ever watch me turn down strawberries and think,
"Maybe I should finally tell him the truth?"
Or was she completely comfortable letting me continue believing something that wasn't true?
I feel like she used my concern for her health to get the outcome she wanted.
If she had simply said,
"I really don't like the taste of strawberries after you've eaten them. Would you mind avoiding them before we kiss?"
I honestly think we could have talked about it like adults and found a compromise.
Instead...
She chose to lie.
And not just any lie.
She lied about a medical condition that I treated with complete seriousness and respect.
That's the part that hurts.
So...
Am I overreacting?
Or is it actually reasonable to feel upset when someone you trust knowingly lets you believe a false medical claim for two years just to influence your behavior?
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