Me 33/F and my husband 30/M have been together for 12 years, 5 married. We have two young children (5 and 10.) We generally have had a good marriage; a few rough spots, some sexual incompatibly, different life goals, etc.
Well, the last few months, we shared a 'kink' where he tries to have sex with me without waking me. It was fun at first because it was something different and felt safe with my husband. We even experimented with me drinking that night, and there were times when I never woke up. I consented to all of it and for the first few times, enjoyed it. Other times I would pretend to still be asleep (and he knew I was faking because we'd both laugh after.) For context, I'm a very heavy sleeper and sometimes sleep walk/talk, and am difficult to rouse. This is especially true if I've been drinking, which I don't do often (usually socially on weekends.)
We reached a point where this kink was the only time we were intimate; he wasn't really interested in anything else, though if I asked, he'd make an attempt. He said it was because he was enjoying the new kink so much.
I felt I had been so firm, so direct in telling him NO that there had been no room for doubt.
About 2 weeks ago, after one such conversation about it happening the night before, I directly asked that it stop. I said that I was no longer comfortable, that it made me feel bad, confused, uninvolved, etc. He agreed.
He basically said that it wasn't a big deal, that we'd done it so many times before with my permission, that you were still his wife, that you're difficult to 'start things with' when you're awake.
I woke up and 'felt' off, realizing he had continued the kink even after I explicitly said no.
🏠 The Aftermath
I'm now contemplating the future of our marriage after this breach of trust.
He has apologized, but the emotional damage runs deep. I'm considering my options moving forward.
The consequences involve a potential separation or intense therapy to rebuild trust and intimacy.
Betrayal can shatter even the strongest relationships.
It's a complex mix of emotions, from love to anger and uncertainty about the future.
💭 Emotional Reflection
Navigating the aftermath of a betrayal like this is challenging and requires careful consideration of all aspects of the relationship.
Feeling hurt, angry, and conflicted is entirely valid in this situation.
Rebuilding trust and addressing deep-seated emotions are essential steps towards healing and moving forward.
Navigating the fallout of a betrayal like this can be incredibly tough for anyone.
It's a clear violation of trust and consent.
Respecting boundaries is crucial in any relationship.
Communication and mutual respect are key pillars of a healthy relationship.
Responses vary, but the consensus is on the importance of trust and respect in a relationship.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Reflecting on betrayal, rebuilding trust, and making tough decisions are all part of the healing process in a relationship.
The choice between forgiveness and moving on is a deeply personal one, with no easy answers.
What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇
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