After facing infertility, financial struggles, and emotional neglect from my husband following a miscarriage, I reached a breaking point in our marriage and questioned if I should walk away.
I (34f) have been married to my husband (43m) for 3 years, together 5. His 3 kids (ages 18-21) live with us too. We’ve been struggling with infertility pretty much since we got married. Last year was a really rough year for us because I got laid off from my tech job and a couple weeks later he had a stroke. During his stroke I took on EVERYTHING because he literally couldn’t and that was fine. We took a pretty major hit financially and depleted our savings and wracked up quite a bit of debt.
I finally got pregnant late May but lost it 6 weeks later. That experience broke me. I didn’t get out of bed for a week, I was in pain, I wasn’t feeding myself, and I was miserable.
“It took me a few more months before I kind of woke up from the depression of losing my baby and began seeing just how emotionally neglectful he’d really been this whole year.”
Not to mention the financial ab*_se (withholding that he was $15k behind on taxes and lying about having money for our vacation only to have nothing and make me max out my credit cards to cover it). So now we’re filing bankruptcy on top of all this.
“That’s the soft version. But after that convo was the first time I seriously considered just packing up and leaving.”
After nearly 2 weeks of silent treatment, lots of hurtful comments, and defensiveness he finally caved and apologized and agreed to do counseling even though he said he won’t like it. I thought his apology was genuine and as soon as I kissed him and said I felt better he immediately asked for s*_x.
🏠 The Aftermath
I finally left after a couple of false starts. He convinced me to stay twice, and then magically was able to clean the house and care about how I was feeling.
He's a good person, goes to work every day, doesn’t ch*_a/t, but he's emotionally unavailable and neglectful in relationships.
Leaving him was tough, especially considering his stroke and financial struggles, but his lack of effort and empathy made it clear I had to go.
"If he could just flip a switch and suddenly have empathy and know how to clean his own house, then all this time he’s just been choosing not to."
Despite mixed emotions, I knew it was the right decision for my well-being.
💭 Emotional Reflection
While he has positive qualities, the emotional neglect and financial dishonesty took a toll on our marriage. The lack of effort to address these issues led me to make the difficult choice to leave.
Reflecting on the situation, I realize that sometimes walking away is the best way to prioritize self-care, despite the complexities of the relationship.
This decision wasn't easy, but it was necessary for my own emotional well-being.
The community had mixed reactions to my dilemma:
"You did what was best for you. Your mental health and well-being matter."
"Leaving was a tough decision, but it sounds like you made the right choice for yourself."
"Sometimes prioritizing your own happiness is the most important thing, even if it means leaving."
Overall, the consensus was that taking care of my own well-being was crucial in this situation.
🌱 Final Thoughts
Leaving a relationship is never easy, especially when faced with emotional neglect and financial strain. It's important to prioritize self-care and make decisions that align with our well-being.
Deciding to leave may seem daunting, but sometimes it's the necessary step to reclaiming our emotional health and happiness.
What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇
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