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AITA for Telling My Daughter She Can't Attend Her Friend's Funeral?


My daughter accused her friend of cheating, causing her life to unravel. Now, with her friend's passing, she wants to attend the funeral.

When my daughter was in school, she became friends with a girl named Kelly. They stayed close through college, and my daughter was even one of Kelly’s bridesmaids when she got married.

About seven years ago, my daughter became convinced that Kelly was cheating on her husband. She started harassing Kelly online and essentially blew up her life. By the time my daughter found out that the man she had seen Kelly with was actually a relative ( they were at a fancy restaurant together) it was too late. Kelly’s marriage had already fallen apart, and because we live in a very religious community, she was ostracized by many people.

My daughter doesn’t speak to her father anymore, and she absolutely despises cheating.

They had a huge falling out, and it basically came down to my daughter ruining Kelly’s life. Kelly blocked her on everything and eventually moved away. Kelly hated my daughter after that, and so did her mother. I still run into Kelly’s mother occasionally, and she has made her feelings about my daughter very clear.

My daughter found out through a Facebook post that Kelly recently passed away.

My daughter was planning to attend the funeral, and I told her that I thought it was a terrible idea. She said she needed to go, and I told her again that she shouldn’t. We got into an argument, and she said she had every right to mourn her friend and attend the funeral.

🏠 The Aftermath

My daughter found out through a Facebook post that Kelly recently passed away, and the funeral is this weekend, two states away.

Despite Kelly's dislike for my daughter, she still plans to attend the funeral.

The consequences of my daughter's actions have resurfaced with Kelly's passing, putting her in a difficult position.

This situation highlights the lasting impact of past conflicts on present decisions.

Mixed emotions arise as my daughter navigates the desire to mourn and the damage she caused.

💭 Emotional Reflection

Balancing the need for closure and respect in light of past actions is a delicate challenge.

Reflecting on the consequences of assumptions and the importance of understanding before acting.

Acknowledging the complexities of human relationships and the impact of unresolved conflicts.


Community responses may vary based on the intricate dynamics of this situation.

Attending a funeral to pay respects is a human need, regardless of past conflicts.
The weight of regret and the longing for closure can cloud judgment in such circumstances.
Reconciliation, even posthumously, can bring a sense of peace and healing to all involved.

Mixed responses highlight the complexity of navigating grief and remorse simultaneously.


🌱 Final Thoughts

Navigating the aftermath of past actions in moments of grief challenges us to confront our roles in others' lives.

Choosing between closure and respect often reveals the depth of our connections and the weight of our decisions.

What do you think?
Would you have left, or stayed and kept trying to make it work? Share your thoughts below 👇


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